


Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough

by Kurai Himitsu (Taskuhecate)



Category: Fruits Basket, Fruits Basket - Takaya Natsuki (Manga)
Genre: M/M, Songfic, embarassingly old
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-06-21
Updated: 2005-06-26
Packaged: 2019-04-07 17:11:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14085687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Taskuhecate/pseuds/Kurai%20Himitsu
Summary: Ayame has finally told a secret...only to have his world come crashing down. Can Yuki and Shigure protect him? Or are they making matters worse?





	1. Song of a Broken Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** This fic is dedicated to Moroi Mikomi, Tora-chan. It's a late B-day gift. Even if AayaXTori's not her favorite couple. Sorry 'bout that! Heh…takes place before Tohru comes to live with Yuki, Kyo, and Shigure cuz I forgot all about Tohru and Kyo…and I'm too lazy to change the whole thing now.
> 
>  **Disclaimer:** I don't own _Fruits Basket_ or the song "Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough"; I'm not making any money off this either.

Ayame bit his lip, trying desperately to hold in his tears, the pain in his heart threatening to rip free. He squeezed his eyes closed, hands tightening on the backs of his thin arms as soft melodies flowed from the small portable radio next to him.

_Tori-san…_

It was a moment before he could gain any semblance of control over his trembling body and he sighed, swallowing hard. He wetted his dry lips and sniffed, taking deep breaths, willing himself to be strong. He looked out at the stars, his knees drawn up to his chest as he sat on the shingled roof of Shigure's house.

His mind wandered back to the conversation it had taken him years to gain the courage to start…

_"Tori-san?"_

_The ryuu looked up, his face as expressionless as always. "Yes Ayame?" he asked, setting his pen on the desk. "What is it? You look rather pale…"_

_Ayame shook his head, swallowing the lump in his throat. "T-Tori-san…I…I have to tell you something…"_

_Hatori raised one delicate eyebrow in curiosity, the anxiousness in the hebi's voice surprising. "And that would be?"_

_He bit his lip, looking at the ground, his cheeks burning. "Onegai Tori-san, onegai don't hate me," he said, his voice strained; Hatori frowned. "I'm begging you…I couldn't live if you did… Don't let this change anything between us…I don't want you to feel…feel weird with me around you… onegai…"_

_With four quick strides, Hatori got to his feet and crossed the room, skirting the table, to stand in front of the hebi, friendly concern in his emerald eyes. "Ayame, what's wrong?"_

_Ayame took a deep breath, knowing he had past the point of no return and there was no turning back now. "I…I love you Hatori," he said softly, his hands falling limp at his sides; his eyes were closed, his body rigid, waiting._

_Hatori stood stalk-still, his visible emerald eye wide in shock. He didn't speak as he stared at the hebi. Hesitantly, Ayame looked up, his golden eyes questioning, pleading, hoping. Hatori swallowed, taking a step back, still too stunned to say anything._

_Hurt flashed through the silver-haired man's eyes and he drew in a sharp breath. "Tori…san…onegai," he whispered, his voice beseeching, begging the ryuu to understand. "I-I didn't mean to… I tried not to, I really did, but…I can't. I'm not asking you to love me; I just wanted you to know…it felt like it was unfair, you not knowing." He stopped, his eyes wide, his hand across his mouth. "Just…just onegai…don't hate me for it…onegai…"_

_The ryuu looked away, his breathing harsher than it had been and his face ghostly pale. "Ayame…I…"_

_Ayame took a breath, his hands shaking. Hatori closed his eyes. "Ayame, gomen ne…I… I think…I think maybe you should go…"_

_The hebi felt like he'd been struck, his heart wounded and bleeding. "T-Tori-san…"_

_The black-haired man looked away and Ayame felt a sob break loose from his throat; before the ryuu could stop him, he turned and fled, tears glittering like diamonds against two shattered suns. Distantly he heard Hatori call out to him but he didn't stop, or even slow, as he pushed through the door and escaped out into the light snowfall._

_He somehow managed to make it to Shigure's house, shaking and trembling, frozen to the bone. He stumbled to the door, falling to his knees just as, amazingly, Yuki opened the door, running out in his bare feet to help the hebi._

" _Baka hebi!" he'd yelled, grabbing blanket after blanket from the closet in the living room, Ayame himself shivering under the kotatsu. "What the hell were you doing out there in this weather? It's snowing for Chrissake's! Do you want to catch your death out there!"_

_Ayame didn't answer, his eyes closed, tears running down his pale cheeks._

_Yuki sighed. "Now I have to call Hatori and get you checked out…"_

" _No!" cried the hebi, face snapping to the nezumi's, his amber eyes wide and frightened._

" _Nii-san?"_

_Ayame swallowed, his eyes never leaving his brother's confused face. "Onegai…otouto…don't." Yuki just shook his head, exasperated, as he laid the blankets on Ayame's shoulders, pulling the snow-white hair free so it tumbled down the blankets in silver waves._

" _Nii-san…what's wrong?" he asked, moving to sit across the kotatsu from the hebi. "Normally you'd jump at the slightest chance of seeing Hatori…"_

_Golden eyes looked away, shamed, as Ayame pulled the blankets tighter around his shaking body. "It's… It's complicated otouto," he whispered. "Onegai…just don't call him…onegai-shimasu…don't…"_

_Yuki frowned. "Unless you tell me why, I'm going to call him Nii-san," he said slowly. "You're not acting like yourself…"_

_Ayame took a shaky breath, tears slipping down his alabaster cheeks in rivulets. "Onegai otouto…I can't face him… Not after…"_

" _Well?" The nezumi crossed his arms over his chest, patiently. "You always wanted to talk to me, be closer to me, so tell me what's wrong."_

_The hebi shook his head, eyes blank and distant. "You wouldn't understand…"_

" _What wouldn't I understand Nii-san," demanded Yuki. "Onegai, let me help; I don't like seeing you like this. Just let me help…"_

_Ayame didn't speak for a moment. "There's nothing you can do Yuki," he said softly, looking out the window; it had stopped snowing finally and he could see the faint glitter of stars in the sky. "It's too late to fix it…it's all ruined…everything…ruined…"_

 

* * *

 

Shigure frowned as he walked through the door; he'd seen Ayame on the roof, staring off into space, the many blankets wrapped tightly around his thin frame. "Yuki?"

The nezumi looked up from the book he'd been reading. "He's been here since almost six-thirty," said Yuki, already knowing what the inu would ask. "He looked terrible when he got here…I think something's really wrong this time Shigure…"

Shigure sighed, hanging up his haori and running a hand absently through his unruly soot-black hair. "We'll have to call Haa-san to give him a check up, to make sure he doesn't get a cold."

Yuki shook his head sadly. "He won't let us," he sighed.

Shigure blinked, frowning. "What do you mean Yuki?"

The nezumi closed the book and leaned on his elbows on the tabletop. "He was practically in tears, begging me not to call Hatori… But he wouldn't say why, or what had happened…"

Shigure shook his head. "This isn't like Aaya," he muttered.

Yuki nodded, his arms crossed. "All he said was something about it being complicated, that everything was ruined…that he couldn't face Hatori." Shigure's eyes widened. "Shigure, what's going on?"

"Oh kami," muttered the inu, groaning, throwing his haori back on. "I think he did it…dammit Ayame! Yuki, stay here, I'm going to go talk to him… Kami, this is going to be one hell of a long night…"

 

* * *

 

" _But there's a danger_

_In lovin' somebody too much,_

_And it's sad when you know_

_It's your heart you can't trust._ "

"Truer words have never been said," Ayame sighed as he listened to the soft American song wafting from the radio's speakers. The lyrics were in English, yes, but contrary to popular belief Ayame was rather fluent in the language, thanks to high school English class. He actually quite liked many of the American songs from the eighties and seventies; even the nineties were good.

" _There's a reason why people_

_Don't stay where they are._

_Baby, sometimes love just ain't enough…_ "

The song was sad, bittersweet to Ayame. The lyrics reminded him of himself…and Hatori, though he was sure there were others that might have fit better. But still…he shook his head. Why had he said those things to the ryuu? He knew that Hatori was straight, that he probably wouldn't understand, but he'd done it anyway. He'd single-handedly managed to drive away his best friend and ruin his life, and it had only taken his fifteen minutes, tops. Way to go Ayame…

" _Now I could never change you;_

_I don't wanna blame you._

_Baby you don't have to take the fall._ "

"Ayame, what happened?"

The hebi didn't turn around as he answered, "I ruined it…I drove him away…it's all ruined now…"

Shigure sighed as he climbed onto the roof and settled down next to his friend. "You told him, didn't you?" Ayame nodded silently and the inu gave him an apologetic look. "And I'm guessing it didn't go like you planned?"

A small sob escaped Ayame and Shigure pulled the hebi to him, rubbing his friend's back comfortingly. "Gomen ne Aaya," he whispered into Ayame's soft silver hair, holding the hebi tight. "You didn't deserve this and I swear I'll try to make it up to you."

"He…he told me to leave," sobbed Ayame brokenly. "He didn't even tell me we'd still be friends…he just told me to leave…"

Shigure closed his eyes, his heart bleeding for his friend. "Give him some time Aaya… I'm sure he was just a little surprised, that's all…he just needs some time to get used to the idea; it'll be all right…"

Ayame curled into himself, clutching the inu's haori, tears streaming down his pale cheeks, clinging to his sable lashes and trembling on his light pink lips before falling to the shingled roof, onto the blankets, Shigure's clothes, his own clothes. Shigure tried to comfort the hebi best he could.

" _And like a fool who will never see the truth,_ " whispered Ayame, his face buried in Shigure's kimono front, " _I keep thinking something's gonna change… But there's a danger in lovin' somebody too much, and it's sad when you know it's your heart they can't touch… There's a reason why people don't stay where they are; baby, sometimes love just ain't enough…_ "

Shigure just pulled the hebi closer.  _Oh Aaya…_

 

* * *

 

Hatori was staring at a small, framed picture on the wall of his room when Shigure roughly opened the door and stormed over to him, grabbing the front of his polo shirt forcibly and shaking him. "Damn you Hatori!" he growled. "What the  _hell_  did you say!"

Hatori closed his eyes. "Is he all right?" he asked softly.

Shigure shoved the ryuu back on the bed and violently pulled a cigarette from his sleeve, lighting it with an impatient click of his lighter. "He just had his heart ripped out and stomped on by the one man he loves; how the hell do you think he is, asshole?"

The ryuu sighed, covering his good eye with his hand. "I…I didn't mean to say it," he said quietly. "I just didn't know what to do…I had no idea…"

"Yeah well, just thought I'd let you know," sneered Shigure, "he was up crying all night. He cried himself to sleep. He thinks you hate him and that he ruined everything; his life, your friendship, everything."

Hatori groaned, starting to get up. "I have to talk to him—"

Shigure pushed him back down, glaring. " _No_ ," he hissed. "You stay away from him. The last thing he needs right now is you reminding him of everything he lost; got it?"

A small sigh escaped the ryuu's lips as he shook his head wearily. "What am I going to do?" he asked quietly. "It wasn't supposed to be like this…"

Shigure snorted, taking a drag off the cigarette and taking a seat in the chair by the small desk in the corner, one leg over the arm. "And how the hell do you think Aaya feels? In his words, 'he couldn't even bear to look at me; he was so disgusted.'" Hatori opened his mouth to object but Shigure cut him off.

"And that's not even the kicker, Haa-san," he chuckled bitterly, frowning, his eyes distant but still sharp. "'He was revolted…but I don't blame him… I never could,' he said." Shigure glanced over at the ryuu. "Do you know why? Why he doesn't blame you?" he asked scathingly. "Because, despite what you did, he  _still_  loves you…"

 

* * *

 

Yuki frowned, worried in spite of himself and his supposed deep dislike of his estranged brother. He hovered at the entrance to Shigure's bedroom where Ayame was sleeping on the inu's futon, where he'd fallen asleep the night before after he'd sobbed himself into exhaustion. Yuki felt the pity well up in him at the memory of his brother's tears, which he'd never before seen mar the bright golden eyes.

Shigure had told him…about what happened earlier between Hatori and Ayame…

" _Shigure, what's wrong with him?" the nezumi demanded when the inu had finally left Ayame alone in the room, the hebi drifting in a fitful sleep at last; it was nearly three in the morning. "I've never seen him like this before…and please don't tell me it's something stupid like a tear in his favorite jacket…"_

_Shigure shook his head. "Having the one person you've loved since you were eighteen reject you as if you were something vile is a good enough reason to cry, don't you think Yuki?"_

_The nezumi blinked, surprised by the callous tone of Shigure's normally playful voice. "I…I didn't mean…I…gomen ne Shigure…"_

_The inu sighed. "No, it's me…it's this whole damn situation!" he said, frustrated._

_Yuki bit his lip hesitantly. "And just what is…the situation?"_

_Shigure massaged his temples tiredly before motioning for Yuki to follow him into the nezumi's room, shutting the door behind them. He heavily sat down on Yuki's perfectly made bed with a deep sigh. "Yuki," he said quietly. "Onegai, if I tell you, you have to promise not to judge Ayame…despite what I'll tell you, Ayame is still the same as he's always been, don't let this change your opinion of him…onegai…"_

_The nezumi, though confused by the request, nodded and Shigure closed his eyes. "Apparently, Aaya finally told Hatori how he feels…"_

_At Yuki's questioning look, Shigure continued, "Aaya…has loved Haa-san since he was a senior in high school."_

_Yuki's eyes widened. "But that would mean…"_

_Shigure nodded. "Yes, Ayame is gay, though not in the stereotypical way that you're thinking," answered Shigure. "More the soul-mate way than anything… It's not that he's in love with Haa-san's body, he's in love with Hatori's mind…the part that makes Hatori, Hatori."_

_The nezumi sat in silence for a moment, mulling over this new piece of information about his silver-haired sibling. "I…I suppose that's…amazing," whispered Yuki finally. "After all, gay men aren't exactly welcomed by society… It's almost cool that he can be that way and not really care what others think…"_

_The inu shook his head. "Oh Aaya cares what others think, all right," he said. "It's just that he loves Haa-san more…that and he's given up trying to be like everyone else."_

_The digital clock on the bedside table showed that it was nearly five in the morning but Yuki ignored it as he looked out the window. "So…he loves Hatori," he muttered to himself. "He told Hatori, and Hatori rejected him?" Shigure nodded; the nezumi shook his head, steel-gray bangs swaying. "That wasn't fair," he said softly. "Poor Nii-san…"_

_Shigure nodded before yawning widely. Yuki smiled tiredly. "You can sleep in my bed tonight Shigure," he said, getting to his feet and striding to the door. "I'll go sleep on the couch. Oyasumi nasai Shigure."_

_Shigure smiled gratefully as he burrowed under the covers._

_Yuki smiled sadly. He shook his head and started toward the couch, a cover in his hand; it was definitely time to sleep… He'd been awake too long… He was asleep before his head hit the pillow._

It had vaguely surprised and shocked Yuki that Ayame was gay; but then, hadn't Shigure told him as much before? The nezumi shook his head, soft gray hair falling gently in front of his violet eyes. How could Hatori have said those things to his best friend? Yuki couldn't understand it.

He sighed, debating with himself whether or not he should wake the hebi before deciding to let Ayame sleep. He turned to go find Shigure when suddenly a lost scream issued from the inu's bedroom. Yuki was through the door in seconds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **A/N:**  There it is. The first chapter of "Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough" (Wow. I need a shorter title!). Anyway, please review!
> 
>  
> 
> **Glossary:**
> 
>  
> 
>  ** _Shounen-ai_** \- it literally means "boy-love"; means boy/boy pairing.
> 
>  **- _san_** \- honorific; it's the most commonly used. There's no real English equivalent; it shows your relationship to someone. (In order from least respectful, or least formal, to most- -chan, -kun, -san, -sama)
> 
>  ** _Ryuu_** \- dragon
> 
>  ** _Hebi_** \- snake, serpent
> 
>  ** _Onegai_** \- it's request form of "please". (I used this one A LOT)
> 
>  ** _Gomen ne_** \- the informal version of "gomen nasai"; it means, "I'm sorry".
> 
>  ** _Baka_** \- insult; means "stupid, moron, idiot." Therefore, "Baka hebi" means "stupid snake".
> 
>  ** _Kotatsu_** \- a low table with an electric heater on the underside; you drape a heavy blanket over it and it keeps you warm in winter. (Man, I want one!)
> 
>  ** _Nezumi_** \- rat, mouse
> 
>  ** _Nii-san_** \- older brother
> 
>  ** _Otouto_** \- little brother
> 
>  ** _Onegai-shimasu_** \- the full version of "onegai"; "onegai-shimasu" when you're being really polite; commonly translated as "I beg of you!"
> 
>  ** _Inu_** \- dog
> 
>  ** _Haori_** \- coat
> 
>  ** _Kami_** \- god/gods
> 
>  ** _Kimono_** \- traditional dress-like robe…worn by both men and women in Japan (not as common as everyday wear anymore though; but that doesn't stop Shigure!)
> 
>  ** _Futon_** \- the thin, soft mattresses many Japanese sleep on. They are folded and stored in cabinets when not in use. This is a practical thing; Japanese homes are very small
> 
>  ** _Oyasumi nasai_** \- good night


	2. Horrors And Discoveries

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** This fic is dedicated to Moroi Mikomi, Tora-chan. This chapter is dedicated to Cassandra, who was my first reviewer! Thanks!
> 
>  **Disclaimer:** I don't own _Fruits Basket_ or the song "Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough"; I'm not making any money off this either.

_He was walking, running down an endless road, dead trees flashing by, his golden eyes only catching a glimpse of gnarled branches twisted and distorted into hands reaching out for him. He ran faster. What he was running from was a mystery, even to him, though he knew it was a Horror he was not prepared, or willing, to confront…_

_The path was becoming more rocky, more uneven and cracked beneath him. Roots shot up between the hard granite and they seemed, like their counterparts on the roadside, to reach for him. Suddenly his foot connected with a small broken log and his face hit the ground, the dirt invading his open mouth and attacking his sensitive nose._

_He coughed, spitting out the foul taste and struggling to prop himself up on his elbows._

No… No! I have…to keep running! I can't let  _it_  catch me! No!

A sudden inhuman shriek rent the dark air, the sky above seeming to crack with the sound, as tears of long dead stars seemed to rain down on the platinum tresses of his hair. His wide golden eyes looked upward, begging for a release, crying out silently for an end to the madness, the pain.

But this is only the beginning…there is more to come… _whispered a rasping voice that seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere simultaneously. A low preternatural growl came from behind him and he twisted, scrambling back as his eyes locked with the Horror._

_The beast was the size of a tiger, though it looked only vaguely reminiscent of some quadruped. Its long fangs curved sharply over its lower jaw, the canines like sabers in its gaping mouth. Its forelegs ended in talons, much like that of a falcon or eagle, and were obviously retractable; it stepped forward, its chest rippling with taut muscles as it growled again, the sound coming from deep in its throat. Its tail, some horrid cross between reptilian and mammalian, lashed and whipped back and forth, mirroring a cat preparing to strike._

_But, despite its body, the Horror's head seemed…beautiful. Its eyes were slitted and almost feline but distinctly different somehow, more shrouded. They were a deep emerald-jade that flashed in the darkness surrounding the pair, glowing eerily against the backdrop of dead trees and twisted roots. Its head seemed somewhat like a snake's, its dimensions redolent of a wolf's snout and nose, its rust-red scales fading smoothly to the ragged fur that its body possessed._

_The Horror advanced and as he watched, two more creatures, one with silver and one with amber eyes, came from the darkness, flanking it on either side. His eyes widened; pure terror surged through his limbs, urging him to move, to flee from the abomination before him. The Horror let out a deep, guttural rumble, almost as though it was…_

"Fool!"  _The Horror's voice sent him reeling as though the creature had physically struck him._ "Thy dare to call  _me_  the abomination? Look at thyself before thy accuse me of such a word!"  _The creatures clawed the ground, leaving long, jagged ruts in the hard granite rocks._

"I…dear gods… Stop this!"  _he cried, scrambling to his feet again. He only made it a few feet before he felt sharp claws imbed themselves deep in the flesh of his legs; he hit the hard rocks again. He cried out as the talons were ripped brutally from his skin, the hot blood flowing out of the holes left behind and pooling under him._

"Thy cringe at thine own face, and yet thy dare to call  _me_  an abomination?"  _demanded the Horror, his voice mercilessly scathing and condemning._ "Who are thee to make such assumptions!"

 _He squeezed his golden eyes shut, his nails digging into the frozen ground._ "Onegai… Onegai! Let me go!"  _The creatures roared in laughter as he lay, shivering, on the ground, circling him now. They passed only close enough to let him taste the living heat of their bodies before darting away; it was torment for his icy skin._

"Thy dare to call us 'abomination',"  _mocked the Horror,_  "And yet thy plead for it to end? Weak!"  _The others roared in agreement. Without warning, the silver-eyed creature rushed on him, its claws tearing at his skin, before returning to its place. He was left bleeding in the center of the triangle they had formed around him, a gaping wound on his left shoulder._

_He gasped for breath, pain shooting through his weary limbs as he tried desperately to escape. The golden-eyed creature darted forward next, ripping at his underbelly, gouging a long lesion on his tender stomach, eliciting a scream of pain from his throat. They howled in the pure ecstasy of the torment as they circled him again, taunting him with warmth he could never know._

_Finally, he lay there, too exhausted and wretched to even react or scream as the two smaller creatures shredded his body slowly. He closed his eyes against the hell of it all, the agony._ "Finish it!"  _he screamed above their constant howls._

_The air was suddenly, terrifyingly empty of sound. He could hear the heavy paws of the Horror as it came to stand inches from where he lay on his back, like a porcelain doll that had been carelessly tossed aside, broken. He could smell the Horror's putrid stench and its breath's thick scent of camellia mingling in the air near his face._

"Do thy truly wish for it to end?"  _it asked softly._

 _He shuddered, his breath shallow._ "Ha…hai…"

 _The creature shifted._  "Then so be it,"  _the Horror whispered, its breath caressing his cheek like a lover's hand. He revealed in those words that he had so longed to hear, drowning in their finality, and the end of the uncertainty._ "I shall give thee thy release…"

_Then pain, the torment so complete even his screams could not penetrate it. The creatures converged on his body, ripping at the soft flesh, tearing and slashing it. Blood covered everything as the Horror took his throat in its powerful jaws, breaking his fragile neck with ease. The anguish throbbed unendingly in his mind, pain so intense, he could know nothing else._

No… No! Someone…help me! Onegai! Help…me…

_Cold light gleamed cruelly off the Horror's sabers as it pierced his heart. He caught sight of a familiar and comforting face standing just at the edge of the slaughter, midnight-black hair covering one coldly calculating emerald eye. He screamed somehow, through the pain of his broken neck, his crushed throat, pleading for the midnight-haired man to save him, to help him._

_The man closed his eyes and turned, disappearing into the eternal darkness surrounding him; his heart shattered as he watched his last, his only, hope vanish._

No…help me…Tori-san…

 

* * *

 

Yuki burst through the door, eyes quickly scanning the room for his silver-haired brother and finding him thrashing, tangled in the sheets, on Shigure's futon. The nezumi went to Ayame's side, frowning as he realized the hebi was still sleeping, caught in the throes of a nightmare.

Sweat beaded on Ayame's pale brow, his mouth twisted in a pain-filled grimace, golden eyes darting beneath their thin eyelids. Yuki watched worriedly as the hebi writhed, twisting the sheets more tightly into a makeshift straightjacket. The nezumi bit his lip, debating whether or not to wake his silver-haired brother, before tentatively reaching out to shake the hebi's shoulder.

Ayame's misted golden eyes snapped open as he jerked violently away from Yuki's hand, startling the nezumi, whose violet eyes widened. The hebi whimpered, curling into himself, his thin frame shaking, silver hair falling across his face. Yuki frowned worriedly. "Nii-san?"

Ayame flinched, a low, soft moan coming from him. Yuki sighed. "Nii-san…it's alright… You're awake, the nightmare's over." The hebi burrowed into the covers, twining them between his thin fingers.

Light played on the hebi's silver hair as Yuki brushed it gently away from his brother's face. Ayame looked up slowly into the nezumi's face. "Yu…ki…?" he whispered, his trembling voice barely audible. Yuki smiled slightly.

Before the nezumi could prepare himself, Ayame had latched onto him, clinging to him, his face buried in the front of Yuki's school uniform, as he sobbed. Yuki blinked dazedly before carefully enveloping the hebi in a loose embrace. He reassuringly stroked his brother's platinum hair, whispering comforting words to soothe the hebi as best he could.

Ayame took a shuddering breath and went still in Yuki's arms. The nezumi sighed. "Better?" The hebi nodded almost imperceptibly.

"A…arigatou…otouto," whispered Ayame softly. "Gomen…ne…"

Yuki smiled sympathetically. "It's alright Nii-san," he said. "I understand; Shigure told me what happened. I'm sure everything will turn out right in the end…"

The hebi shivered. "G-Gure…san told you?" he asked quietly.

"It's all right," said Yuki. "I don't care that you feel that way about Hatori. In fact, I think you two would be good together…"

Ayame blinked, looking up at his brother. "Masaka?" he asked. "That's what I thought too…but it seems…it seems…h-he doesn't feel the same…"

Yuki didn't comment, his eyes taking in the sight of his older brother, the one who was never there for him when he had needed him. The nezumi realized he could do the same now but he shook the thought away; he couldn't do that…not after what the hebi had been through… Instead he held his brother closer, hoping he could comfort him.

Thin fingers went lax and Ayame gave himself up to the exhaustion and simply lay in Yuki's arms. His golden eyes closed, tears occasionally slipping past the barrier of his lashes to slide down his cheeks. "It hurts," he whispered softly. "It hurts so much otouto…"

"I'm sure it'll get better Nii-san," reassured Yuki, though he had no idea if this was true.  _It has to…_

The hebi dragged in a ragged breath. "But what…what if it doesn't?" he asked, his voice no more that a wavering whisper, frightened and resigned at the same time.

Yuki opened his mouth to answer but was saved the trouble. "Then you'll get through it Aaya." Ayame opened his eyes half-wide to see Shigure standing in the doorway, leaning against the doorjamb, his arms crossed over his chest, his chocolate eyes soft.

"Gure…san…"

"You're stronger than this Aaya," muttered the inu, coming to crouch next to the brothers. "C'mon now," he said coaxingly. "You have to get up Aaya." Ayame buried his face in the nezumi's shirtfront, shaking his head.

Yuki sighed. "Shigure," he whispered, "does he have to? Can't we let him rest a little longer?"

The inu shook his head, eyes serious. "Iie, he has to get up now," he said. "If not, he'll brood all day and it'll only get worse for him…like Kisa."

Yuki blinked, stroking his brother's long hair absently. He sighed. "Of course; you're right. C'mon Nii-san."

Ayame whimpered as Yuki gently pushed him away, disentangling himself from the hebi's grip. Shigure calmly took hold of Ayame's upper arm and carefully made the silver-haired man get to his feet before taking in Ayame's disheveled appearance.

The silver hair was ragged and dirty, his cheeks stained from crying for twelve hours straight, his golden eyes were puffy and bloodshot. The hebi's kimono was unkempt and wrinkled, hanging limply from his thin frame, one sleeve slipping down to reveal a pale white shoulder trembling in spite of the warmth in the house. Shigure shook his head again.

"C'mon Aaya, I'll heat the bath for you; you can borrow some of my clothes for now," he said as the hebi looked away, another tear slipping down his cheek. "Yuki, you help him…and you wouldn't mind staying home from school for today, would you?"

"Iie, it's alright," reassured the nezumi, getting to his feet. "I'd rather stay home today anyway…"

Ayame shook his head, brushing his tangled hair out of his eyes. "Otouto…"

Yuki glanced at the hebi, silencing his weak objection with his determined look. "He's right Nii-san," he said. "Now let's find you something of Shigure's that's not too offending…"

Ayame somehow managed a weak ghost-smile and nodded tiredly, following Yuki to the inu's large walk-in closet. Shigure sighed quietly to himself, leaving to make his way to the furo at the end of the hall. As he filled the tub, his mind was on autopilot.

 _Damn this… I hate to do this to Aaya…_ he thought with a heavy sigh.  _I love the guy, but I know if he just stays there and does nothing, it'll be worse for him in the long run…_  Shigure wiped his hands off on a hand towel and closed his eyes, feeling the warmth of the bath take the edge off the chill of the outside.  _He can't wallow or he'll make himself sick and then we'd have no choice but to force him to see Hatori and that…that would just kill him…_

 

* * *

 

Hatori closed his eyes; he moved his arm, flinging it across the back of the couch he was laying on haphazardly, its rough corduroy-like texture digging into his back, his cheek, leaving red marks in testament to the fact that he'd been there for hours, staring at space.  _Ayame…why didn't I see it before? He only listened to me…gods, was I really that blind? Oh Ayame…forgive me…_

A frustrated groan boiled out of the ryuu's mouth and he rolled off the couch and to his feet, his legs wobbling slightly from disuse. Once he had his balance well enough to walk with some semblance, Hatori crossed the room to the little end table by the wall that held the black phone. He picked up the phone in his hand, staring at it as though it would bite him if he put it to his ear. He shook his head and dialed Shigure's number in record time.

The phone rang five times before someone picked up.

"Moshi-moshi, this is Sohma Yuki," said the voice, obviously the nezumi. "Who is this?"

Hatori took a breath. "Yuki," he said, trying to keep his voice from cracking after not having used it since Shigure's visit that morning. "Onegai, I need to talk to Ayame; onegai."

There was a pause in which the ryuu waited anxiously. "Iie," hissed the nezumi heatedly, ice in his voice; Hatori had never heard the boy sound so cold. "Stay the hell away from my brother Hatori; gods, I can't believe you even had the audacity to call asking for him."

"Yuki, onegai," repeated Hatori pathetically; he already knew it was futile but was too stubborn to give up yet.

"Iie, you bastard, you're the one that decided to toss him aside," snarled Yuki. "Now you want him back just so you can break him? Like hell! Go shove the stethoscope that's up you ass down your throat and choke on it. Do us all a favor. And I hope you rot in hell afterwards."

There was a click and a dial tone; Hatori was left staring at the phone in shock. Even Yuki was defending Ayame…  _How badly did I hurt him_ , wondered the ryuu dazedly, putting the phone back on the cradle and shaking his head, eyes still wide from Yuki's caustic accusation. He shook his head; he had to talk to the hebi somehow, he had to make this right again…

"… _I want you to be two thousand times happier…than you would be with Kana-kun!"_

_Why didn't I see it before? I owe him so much…at least a chance…_

He went to the door, grabbing his coat as he did, and left, slamming the door behind him. Snow still covered the cold ground from yesterday's snowfall and Hatori worried immediately about Ayame's health, the hebi having walked to Shigure's in the storm.

"Ha'ri?" Hatori turned and saw Momiji's face gazing steadily down at him from the wall, intelligent mahogany eyes curious. "Where are you going?"

The ryuu looked carefully away from the blonde. "To Shigure's; I need to talk to Ayame…"

"You hurt him, didn't you?" The ryuu looked back, surprise clear on his face, emerald eyes wide. Momiji snorted. "What? Didn't you know he loved you? Gods, Akito really did blind you, didn't he? Du torttel!"

"You…you knew Momiji?" asked Hatori, ignoring the usagi's insult.

Momiji rolled his eyes, swinging his legs back and forth on the high wall of the Sohma estate. "Of course; almost everyone does. Poor Aya, I can't believe you didn't know."

Hatori sighed. "Aa…neither can I. I have to make it up to him…somehow…"

The usagi snorted, putting a hand behind his head and the obnoxiously bright blue sailor cap perched atop it. "You'd better; after all, Aya'd do anything for you…"

Emerald eyes looked away, shame and pain boded in their yawning depths, as Hatori walked away without a word, pulling his coat tighter around his body as he left the estate. Momiji watched the ryuu leave, a sense that something would change, for better or worse; nothing would be the same when the ryuu returned…either Ayame's life would be in shambles, the venerated and notorious friendship truncated, or it would be a new kind of bliss…only time would tell… Only time would tell…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **A/N:**  Hmm... I think this one's shorter... But to tell the truth, when I started this, it was supposed to be a one-shot... Guess that's a bit off now, huh? Oh well. As long as you guys like it!
> 
> **To my reviewers:**
> 
> Cassandra- _Uh...Thank you so much! My first reveiwer! Yay! Keep reading...and I know you'll like the next chappie!_
> 
> Shigure Sohma-  _Ah! Don't kick my butt! I like my butt! My butt does not like to be kicked! But yeah, I hope you liked this chapter! And keep reading...please?_
> 
> Black Angel of Desturction-  _Nice name. And thanks for the review! Hope you like this chapter!_
> 
> Moroi Mikomi-  _Hey! Thaks for beta-ing this for me! I hope you enjoy it! Even though you know how it ends!_
> 
> **Glossary:**
> 
> **_Camellia_** \- a type of flower that grows in Asia
> 
>  ** _Hai_** \- yes
> 
>  ** _Arigatou_** \- it means "thank you". The more formal version is "arigatou gozaimasu"; the most formal is "domo arigatou gozaimasu".
> 
>  ** _Masaka_** \- normally translated as "really!". In this case it would be a more subdued "really?"
> 
>  ** _Iie_** \- is a more formal version of "no".
> 
>  ** _Furo_** \- traditional Japanese bath (it's in a separate room from the toilet)
> 
>  ** _Moshi-moshi_** \- means "hello", but only on the telephone
> 
>  ** _Sohma Yuki_** \- I should probably mention name order; in English/America, this name would be said "Yuki Sohma". In Japan, the surname comes  _before_  the first name.
> 
>  ** _Du torttel_** \- All right; yes, this is German. But there's a good reason for it! Sohma Momiji is half German and half Japanese in the manga (Japanese comic book) and randomly talks in German sometimes. "Du torttel", if I remember correctly, means, "you jerk" in German.
> 
>  ** _Usagi_** \- rabbit, hare


	3. Itsumo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:**  This fic is dedicated to Moroi Mikomi, Tora-chan. It's a late B-day gift. Even if Aaya X Tori's not her favorite couple. Sorry 'bout that!
> 
>  **Disclaimer:**  I don't own  _Fruits Basket_  or the song "Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough"; I'm not making any money off this either.

The steam rose from the heated water and a small smile curled on Ayame's lips; Shigure had always been good to his word. He quickly undid the obi holding his kimono on and closed his golden eyes as he savored the feeling of the old silk falling off his smooth skin. He sighed as he lowered himself into the hot water, the liquid soothing his frazzled nerves as he leaned back until his body, from the nose down, was submerged.

His silver hair floated around him like some strange new seaweed before he smoothed it down into the water. He closed his eyes again, just sitting, letting the water ripple around his chest as it rose and fell in time with his steady breathing; it was calming, just being. He tried to keep his mind clear as he sat, but it was impossible and soon enough the thoughts of Hatori broke through his barriers; he groaned.

"Tori-san," he whispered to himself, squeezing his eyes shut, trying to keep the hated tears at bay. "Why…why wouldn't you even think about it?" The ryuu hadn't even given them a chance, that's what had hurt so much; it would have been different if they had tried and failed, at least then it would have been proven. He sighed.

" _Tori-chan! Wait up!" cried the eight-year-old hebi as he scrambled, slipping on the loose rocks as he ran. The dark-haired, nine-year-old stopped, waiting patiently as his silver-haired friend tried to climb up the hill after him. It would have been easy to climb the hill, but it was raining and the smooth rocks were wet and slippery._

_Ayame tried desperately, he really did, and he had almost reached the ryuu when suddenly his feet found a loose rock and he began to tumble backwards, his arms pin-wheeling and his golden eyes wide in surprise and fear. He slammed his eyes shut, bracing himself to feel hard rocks._

_It never came. He tentatively opened his eyes to see Hatori holding him steady, a small smile on his lips. "Careful," he said quietly as he pulled the hebi up next to him on the rock._

_Ayame grinned, brushing back his long wet hair embarrassedly. "Arigatou Tori-chan," he answered._

_They moved to the small overhanging they knew was nearby and sat in silence for some time. After a while, the ryuu noticed his silver-haired friend shivering; he frowned, moving closer to the hebi. Ayame stared at him with wide eyes, surprised by the other boy's concern._

" _T-Tori-san?"_

_Hatori merely smiled. "Is that better?" he asked._

_The silver-haired boy looked away, a blush gracing his round cheeks as he muttered, "Aa, a-arigatou…mata…"_

_They settled into a comfortable silence after that with only the sound of the rain and their little hearts to interrupt their thoughts. Ayame soon began to fiddle with the hem of his small black kimono distractedly; Hatori watched him silently, concern in his emerald eyes. A single crystal tear made its way slowly down the curvature of the hebi's porcelain cheek and the ryuu frowned._

" _Ayame?"_

_The hebi blinked and looked at Hatori and the other boy saw, for a moment, that the barriers were gone from the golden eyes and inside was flooding torrent of confusion and anguish that he could scarcely believe Ayame's small body could hold._

" _Daijoubu ka?" he asked. "What's wrong?"_

_The silver-haired boy looked away again, carefully avoiding the ryuu's gaze. "Why…why didn't Oba-san wake up?" he asked quietly, hugging his knees to his chest, resting his chin on top of them. "She was so cold when I touched her hand…and why was she in that box? I didn't like that box…it was creepy…"_

_Hatori watched the hebi, a sad look in his eyes. "Oba-san died," he said gently. "They put her in the box so they could bury her."_

" _Iya!" Ayame cried, burying his face in his knees, his small shoulders shaking as he cried openly. "Iya! She's not dead! She can't be!"_

_Hatori didn't say anything as he hugged his silver-haired friend, stroking his moon-spun hair until he calmed. It took almost ten minutes for the hebi's tears to slow but the ryuu waited patiently until Ayame's shoulders stopped shaking. "Daijoubu ka?"_

_Ayame sniffed. "She left," he whispered, "She left and didn't even say goodbye…"_

" _She didn't mean to," reassured Hatori as his friend wiped his nose on his kimono sleeve. "She had to." Ayame was quiet for a moment._

" _Tori-chan?"_

" _Hai?"_

_The hebi sniffed again. "You…you won't leave me, ne?" he asked softly, his voice trembling as his small hands tightened their grip on his kimono hem. "Ne?"_

_Hatori smiled a little. "Iya," he said. "I won't leave."_

" _Promise?" he whispered, his large golden eyes fixed on his friend._

_The ryuu nodded. "Promise," he answered. "We'll always be friends Ayame; itsumo."_

_Ayame smiled, a true smile, and his golden eyes shown, the innocence bright beneath the grief. "Itsumo…"_

Ayame sighed, wiping the bangs from his eyes as he opened them to stare at the ceiling. Why was he remembering this now? It had been his aunt Mae who'd died; she'd been the nezumi before Yuki and Ayame had been quite fond of her and her warm smiles and funny stories. He'd been crushed and depressed when she'd died. Hatori's promise had helped though and he soon returned to his old self, but he never forgot Mae-san and he knew he never would.

He smiled bitterly. "Ah, but you've lied to me Tori-san," he whispered. "Itsumo is a lie…"

He closed his eyes and sank down into the warm water, the tears finally escaping their prison.

 

* * *

 

Hatori didn't bother to knock as he walked into Shigure's house, a determined look in his emerald eye; he would not be denied this time. Shigure was the first to the scene as he poked his head out of the open shoji to the living room. As soon as the inu caught sight of Hatori, his chocolate eyes turned stormy.

"What are you doing here?" he growled, moving to block Hatori's path.

The ryuu's eyes narrowed. "I came to see Ayame," he answered calmly. "I need to speak to him but when I called, Yuki hung up."

"And you damn well deserved it," retorted Shigure, crossing his arms across his chest. "Just leave him alone already; you've done enough damage."

"Shigure." Whispered; pleading. "I  _need_  to talk to Ayame; Shigure, you know that. He  _needs_  to see a doctor!"

"He's fine," snapped Yuki from the stairs. "He's relaxing now, trying to forget about you, so just turn and go…before I fucking  _make_ you."

Hatori's eyes widened and he stared at the nezumi; he could hear the sound of running water upstairs, he figured that's where Ayame was. "Onegai, I just want to talk to him…"

"Iie," hissed Shigure. "Now get out of my house."

"Five minutes," said Hatori, ignoring the inu's demand. "That's all I ask…onegai…"

Yuki came to stand next to the inu, violet eyes searching the ryuu. "And if we do?" he asked quietly. "How much more pain will it bring him? It's not worth it."

Emerald eyes narrowed and he turned without a word and made his way to the door, calling over his shoulder, "Tell Ayame…tell him I'm sorry…"

Shigure and Yuki traded a glance before going back to their daily routines.

Hatori, meanwhile, hadn't left. He was hiding at the edge of the woods, just out of sight of the house as he sat dejectedly on an old log, his head in his hands.  _What now_ , he asked himself.  _How am I going to talk to him? Those two will never let me near him…_

A light seemed to dawn on the ryuu as he realized the bathroom, where Ayame most likely was, was near the back door of the house, on the opposite side of the house from the other two juunishi.  _Perfect…_

He crept, as quietly as he could, past the front door and the windows until he stood feet away from his goal. He swallowed the lump in throat and strengthened his resolve silently before slipping into the house, undetected.

 

* * *

 

Ayame sighed as he gave up trying to relax, getting to his feet and stepping out of the furo, the water sliding down his milky white skin in rivulets before he dried himself with the fluffy blue towel Shigure had left on the counter for him. The soft material was comforting as it caressed him before he threw it aside and pulled on his cheongsam, thankful that he'd left it in Shigure's closet on one of his previous visits, closing the many clasps as quickly and as deftly as his trembling fingers would allow.

He adjusted the collar and turned to inspect himself in the mirror; his eyes widened in shock and the brush he had been holding in his hands clattered to the tile as he spun to face the intruder. "T-Tori…san…"

Hatori came the rest of the way in, shutting the door behind him, his emerald eyes never leaving the hebi. He studied the silver-haired man…he looked, the only word that came to mind was ethereal, but even that didn't do the man justice. "Ayame," he whispered quietly, coming to stand in front of the hebi. "Onegai, sumimasen…"

Ayame shook his head, back stepping until his back hit the wall, his arms wrapped around the width of his thin frame, as though he was trying to hide himself from the ryuu's steady gaze. "Yamete Tori-san," he hissed. "Just go…onegai-shimasu… I can't stand to see you, to hear try to fix this with hollow words; it hurts Tori-san!"

Hatori didn't leave; instead he came closer still, trapping the hebi between his arms. "Iya Ayame," he whispered. "I can't do that…and you know it."

Ayame shook his head, his wet silver hair sending drops of crystal flying; the ryuu smiled slightly. "Ayame, you're beautiful," he said softly, pulling the hebi to him gently, despite the silver-haired man's weak protests. "And I'm so sorry I didn't even listen to you when you came to me yesterday." Ayame pulled back a little, his golden eyes wide and searching. "I'm afraid I didn't hear what you said; can you please tell me?"

The hebi looked down, his hands balled into fists against the ryuu's crisp cotton shirt, as tears fell from the gold suns. "Onegai Tori-san," he whispered, his voice trembling and pleading. "Onegai, don't make me say it…not again…onegai-shimasu…don't do this…"

Hatori ignored the hebi's pleas, shaking his head. "Iya, what did you say?"

Ayame's shoulders were shaking in silent sobs as he whispered, "I…I love you…I love you Tori-san…sumimasen…"

Hatori chuckled. He gently hooked a finger under the hebi's chin and forced Ayame to look at him, golden eyes wet and cracked. The ryuu shook his head. "I was hoping that was what you said," he whispered. "And now, my turn for a confession."

Ayame swallowed. "T-Tori-san…"

Before the hebi could say anything else, Hatori pressed his lips to Ayame's, pulling the smaller man to him, stroking the hebi's soft cheek gently with the pad of his thumb as he did. Ayame stiffened, eyes wide in shock, before relaxing and surrendering to Hatori's tender kiss, melting into the embrace, warmth flooding his thin frame.

All too soon for Ayame, however, the ryuu pulled away, his emerald eyes full of something akin to…no, it couldn't be…could it? The hebi looked away, bringing his hand to his lips, brushing the place where the ryuu's lips had been only moments before, golden eyes wide and confused.

"I love you Ayame…"

The hebi's eyes snapped back to Hatori's, wide and disbelieving, unsure. "N-nani…?"

"I love you," repeated Hatori patiently. "And I'll never leave you…"

"Tori-san," whispered Ayame, crystal tears welling in his eyes, sliding down his alabaster cheeks; there was hope in the golden orbs, and Hatori knew what this was to him, finally. "Tori-san, onegai…promise?"

Hatori smiled softly, pulling the hebi to him again. "Hai," he whispered into the silver moon-spun hair. "I promise…itsumo…"

 _Itsumo…_  Ayame smiled, tears falling openly now, as he buried his face in Hatori's shirtfront. He closed his eyes, breathing in the doctor's sweet scent of camellia and soap. "I love you Hatori…I love you." It seemed to the hebi that he could hear the lonely strains of music fading, the lines coming clearly to him through a receding fog.

" _But there's a danger in lovin' somebody too much,_

_And it's sad when you know it's your heart they can't touch._

_There's a reason why people don't stay where they are,_

_Baby, sometimes love just ain't enough…_ "

His smile only widened as he tighten his grip on the ryuu's thin waist, Hatori sprinkling the top of his head with light kisses.  _Aa…but sometimes love is enough…sometimes it is…_

_—Owari—_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **A/N:**  Yay! It's finally done! I hope you enjoyed "Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough", I know I had fun writing it. I swear, Hatori and Ayame make such a cute couple, don't they? Anyway…it's done! Thanks to all my reviewers! PLEASE REVIEW!
> 
> **Glossary:**
> 
> **_Obi_** \- the sash that holds the kimono, gi, and haori on
> 
>  ** _Aa_** \- another form of yes; only used by men
> 
>  ** _Mata_** \- again; therefore, "arigatou mata" would mean, "thanks again".
> 
>  ** _Daijoubu ka_** \- means "are you okay?"
> 
>  ** _Oba-san_** \- means "aunt"
> 
>  ** _Iya_** \- the informal version of "no"
> 
>  ** _Itsumo_** \- means "always"
> 
>  ** _Juunishi_** \- Chinese Zodiac
> 
>  ** _Cheongsam_** \- I know, not really a foreign word, but I thought it merited attention. A cheongsam is something like a long full-body jacket with a mandarin collar and a slit in the side (What the dictionary says: an oriental dress with a slit skirt and a mandarin collar)
> 
>  ** _Sumimasen_** \- another form of "gomen ne"; "sumimasen" denotes extreme politeness. In this case, Hatori uses it to basically say "I'm really, really, REALLY sorry".
> 
>  ** _Yamete_** \- standard form of the request form of "stop" (yameru); "Yamero" is the male-speech form.
> 
>  ** _Nani_** \- means "what?"
> 
> There ya go! The last glossary! Please, don't forget to review! PLEASE!


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